You might have noticed that every so often I make a few comments that call out some of the more valued members of the Kos community in a fairly out-of-character way for me. It's not "every so often;" it's specifically on the 5th of the month. Predictable, yet I forget because, well, time has passed as I try to make believe that the loss of my husband hasn't left a major hole in my life.
Why the 5th? You might remember I wrote this diary on December 5, 2012. Yes, nineteen months ago today. I honestly don't know why I haven't developed the habit of looking at the calendar each month and reminding myself "Do not make comments that have ANY meta connotations today."
So this is a specific apology to navajo and to grannycarol for my petulance and out-of-sortsness in two comments I made today. I promise I'll make more of an effort to police myself at the beginning of the month from now on. But this is another indication of how bereavement works for anyone who has suffered a significant loss as I did.
I can do better.
